Taken For Granted…..

I can’t help but notice how my husband spends every day that he is off. It’s definatley not home mowing the grass or helping me with the house work. He works 3 days a week of 13 hour shifts. I work 5 days a week of 8 hour shifts.

Someone please explain to me how he gets 4 days a week off and can’t get a damn thing accomplished relating to our home or even my oil changed?  I am off 2 days a week and I do all the laundry, floors, dishes, taking care of the everyone elses needs, etc.  I am exhausted when coming home from work, then it’s time to start on the stuff that needs done at home.

And on top of that, I can’t even get a normal kiss from my husband.  It’s always those quick pecks–you know, can’t kiss me to long for fear of the coodies.  I long for some companionship and romance.  Where is the feeling of appreciation?  I feel more like a doormat.

My husband has a 22 year old son from a previous marriage.  He works 3 part time jobs and treats me as if I am his servant.  He pays no rent, helps buy no groceries (other than HIS oodles of noodles), wont clean up after himself nor do his own laundry.  He lays on MY laptop (a Christmas present) and has gotten one virus after another on it.  I have talked to my husband about this and he says he needs to go find his own place, but nothing’s ever said.

I have started looking on the affair sites for at least email companionship. I have met a few guys but I just don’t wanna screw.  There’s more of connections I wanna feel first before dipping into the fun stuff 🙂

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his work place-“co-worker slut”

I have learned that some slut (whom I will refer to as “co-worker slut“) that started working at my husband’s place of employment in 2006, has had her “rounds” with a few of the employees.  She first started off with my husband’s partner at work.  I have caught my husband, and his partner, having lunch with her while on the clock in public.  My husband of course tried to smooth it over.

At the time of this blog writing, on a couple occasions noticed this “co-worker slut” on yet another guy while stopping to see my husband at work.  I know they weren’t tucked behind a company vehicle with feet close together for nothing.  I’m not stupid!

I have learned through my best friend, that “co-worker slut” is at my husband’s place of employment as soon as her own husband goes to the his firehouse.  She gets off work at 4pm, but comes back down to bring everyone food and who knows what else!

Then there was the time my husband ran to work early, worked extra days, worked a lot of overnight shifts.  His attitude changed and he was constantly picking fights.  My cell phone would blow up with text messages saying how much of a lazy bitch and f*cking whore I was.  Then there was the phone calls-he would say how he’s tired of working his ass off to support my fat ass and talk to me like I was trash.  (i’m not fat by the way, far from it) .  I knew in the back of my mind what was happening again.

After one of his overnight shifts, I went through his work bag digging out the dirty clothes.  To my not-so-so-much-of-a-surprise I found that his underwear had “peter tracks” all over it.  I confronted him and asked “what the hell was going on!”………. his reply was nothing and he tried to tell me he just jacked off cuz I wasn’t giving him any!  Then on top of that, an unopened condom was laying on the floor on his side of the bed underneath his dirty work clothes.  I found it while picking up his dirty clothes.  When I confronted him about the condom, he said it was mine and to stop screwing around while he was not home.  such a jackass……..

Any how, it just makes me mad that my husband gets away with all kinds of stuff and can do what he wants and I have to adhere to his strict rules of not laughing, no having fun, no having friends, no money, etc…….. i’m tired of being faithful and honest to someone who does NOT deserve it.  It’s time I start planning a plan 🙂

Do I have my cake and eat it too-only if I can get away with it? I think that is what the doctor ordered!  Even though I have a conscious, I think I can keep my mouth shut about my life at work and behind every smile my husband sees, will be a reason why it is there.  If my husband is not going to allow me to have a life, I shall find one for me.

“Co-worker slut” is a late 50’s-early 60’s slut……….and i’m mid 30’s.  I may not be slutty, but I sure as hell am better looking and have a lot less miles on me 🙂

SHOW TIME!?

Part 3

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all yelling and demanding within the first couple years of our relationship.  Although it felt like there were more bad days then good.  We did share some very happy times and it took me back to the very reason why I feel in love with him.

In those first years, I heard myself being called a “f*%$ing bitch” and “whore” more than in my entire life.  He had no respect for me or my feelings.  The fact that I cheated on Husband #1 with him kept being brought up and how he couldn’t trust me.  I told him if he wasn’t an insecure bastard who treated me like shit, he wouldn’t even worry about that.

In his mind, I screwed everybody-men and women.  It didn’t matter.  Then there came the unusual sex talk.  He has had a facination with me having sex with other guys and watching or both of them doing me in the same session.  I always thought this was just talk to get his rocks off until I found out he started a profile on a married couples website looking for males to join us.

To this day, nobody has been in the bed with us-now who he’s been in bed with behind my back- I just don’t know that.

Part 2

As I soon realized, I screwed up leaving my first marriage.  In my first marriage, I came and went as I pleased, my bills were always paid, I had money to spend and help with my kids. My first husband didn’t say much because he was never home, didn’t like to call and was just to busy with other women.

My second marriage wasn’t like that at all.  I pretty much have to tell where i’m going and what i’m doing.  But it’s ok for husband #2 to go off and do as he pleases while i’m asleep or while he’s at work.  His world is kept a secret and mine is on a platter for him to devour.

I was always a good worker until I got remarried.  I have gotten into trouble at jobs because of his constant presence and smart ass comments.  If I had $10, he would take it and said I owed him.  He would constantly gripe about needing my check book to balance it because he knew I didn’t do it.  This was his way of checking out what I had so he could make plans for it.

Husband #2 also likes to keep in contact-something I was not use to!  Going from no communication to constant communication was depressing and I felt overwhelmed.  Text messages and phone calls-over the years I have broke several cell phones because he has aggrivated me to death.

Husband #2 likes to keep up with his ex’s-he talks about them with his friends and stares at them in my presence and denies it.  I always thought that if you loved someone, they wouldn’t care about their past?

Part 1

I met my husband in the fall of 2004 while volunteering for a local fire department function.  I admit, I was drawn in by his sincere smile and dazzling eyes………he was dreamy.  When I left that evening I didn’t get his cell phone number and so I just waited-until the next fundraiser.  When the next fundraiser came around, he was there and my heart melted.  We exchanged phone numbers and he started visiting me at work.

At the time I was married to an habitual cheater.  For 11 years I put up with being cheated on and finally made the decision to move on.  I thought I had found the perfect person when I meet my second husband.  He said and done all the right things.  But after I left my first husband and was officially divorced, that all changed.